[Ri]se.

Promise.

2012-01-27T02:29:00.002+08:00

You of the past, I loved you so,

Now I must ask myself, dare I wager,

To take a chance with the you I will come to meet,

If we were ever to be together, once again,

Love you I do, you of the past,

Today's you I cannot love, it is just too fast,

To assume that you're the love I fell in love with,

But in the future we change, for now its 'what if's,

Here's to you and I,

Lovers we were and that couple lives on in my heart,

Though today I sigh,

Not getting what I want,

But in the future I'd go for you if you were what I want,

So live a good life,

Spend it whole,

I will be here,

The road is cold,

But know one thing is for sure,

My love for you, exclusive like couture,

I will never pass up a chance,

To wage that we might be right for each others hands,

Pieces.

2012-01-25T17:08:00.003+08:00

Pieces of me,
And pieces of you,
Memories of you,
I don't let go,
I can't live without it.

But because without those memories,
I'll never know,
How is it to love someone so much,
And leave that love,
And be left by that love,
I will never have that epiphany,

So pieces, pieces, shards of glass,
Memories of you and I pass,
Break and shatter, silent, fast,
Love still I may, but only you of the past,

Shards of glass,
Memories of past,
You, I have passed,
Look forward,
A new road,
As if a breath of wind fresh,
There I uphold,
A new life,
To find that whole,

I'm still happy with my life and I dare fight, now I ask you if you are ready for such a thing.

Angels

2012-01-19T23:15:00.002+08:00

White lips,
Pale face,
Make-up as fair as snowflakes,
Sunken cheeks,
Small frame,

She's letting go of her dreams,
What that dirty man used to call 'delusions',

Was her meaning of living,
What she doesn't know is that it's all illusions,
He's planned this from the beginning,

I can beg as much as I want,
For her to stand up and fight that cunt,
But she's pushing every single one of us away,
Approach her and she'll say that she'd rather not say,
All her best friends are asking her to stay,
But she's trying her best to make it her own way,

Your dreams, please remember them,
You're strong enough to fight for it,
You're strong enough to make amends,
It's not even about love its the dreams you saw fit,

A dream you were pursuing since I saw your photo as a child,
Beaming with confidence smiling and looking at the camera,

She'd give you a hug and say 'don't listen to the cries of the wild,'
If that girl saw you now she'd be puzzled, like an enigma,

Life's hard and I agree with you,
So we have friends to make you stronger and breathe with you,
We all want to help not destroy you,
We're here to support you and not judge you,

Its not just me I cant be that selfish,
Its us that loves you, please understand this,
Please come back I can give you a list,
Of names of people that wish you wouldn't come to this,

Your frame so small, so fragile, so afraid,
Used to be a girl, an animal who was on rage,
Trying to chase her dreams till she was trapped in a thorn cage,
Called the misleading of a loved one who doesn't support you,
Throw what he calls reality when it was he who failed too,

I'm a living example of what is true,
No matter how many times I fall I pull through,
I'm a dancer, singer, beatboxer, and emcee too,
Above all I'm a fighter, I'll never lose you,
But love is the least of my concerns when you're silently crying,
I never want to see my loved one slowly dying,
My arms are still out, reaching out to you,
I never want to lose you,
Never in a million years,

I'm not asking you to throw it all away and push yourself back,

I'm not asking you to give me a chance,

Give yourself a chance, we love you. We miss you, your friends, your family, and this guy who can't shut up, this guy who loves you so much no matter what.

He always remembered that, have you?

She is.

2012-01-06T05:28:00.002+08:00

She's had her fair share of perks and jerks,
She's had her fair share of times she lurks,
She's always been on my mind,
No matter how hard the truth was to find,

But look here, you know its about you,
You're the only girl I loved for five years through and through,
Faster than a heartbeat you saw it too,
I heard you shed a tear, well I shed two,

This is about her,
She is everything that I am after,
She is the one I wanna see at the altar,
She is the strongest person I've seen,
When she falls the beauty is she trusts me,
And when I fall all she has to do is see me,
And just cause she is,
Nothing can ever compare to this,

Her beautiful heart, soul and mind,
In any other girl? Impossible to find,
Her attitude and any other girl her kind?
Let's just say I have better chances when I'm blind,

Gets all my jokes,
Loves all my dreams,
I even love her folks,
And we laugh at the same memes,

Dear Odin, she just is.

Am I mE?

2011-06-13T00:35:00.004+08:00

Day by day,
Every day as long as the sun shines,
The same question rings into everybody's head's,
'Who am I?'

Am I the instigator of a thousand fists?
Or the judge between a couple of fits?
Whatever it is, I know I'm not driven to the pits,
I'm not the floor upon which someone spits,

I became me the day I was born,
Yet I forgot that day and I was torn,
Torn in between my identity and I,
But with hope,
As I saw,
My left and right arms were formed,

It took me pain,
Pain to find the thing in which brought me fame,
Through all the broken hearts and shame,
I pulled through and that pain became,
What I have become.
And that thing was dance,
I am me, because I dance.

Heart

2011-03-01T05:50:00.003+08:00

Grow a pair of ears to listen with,
And a heart to keep listening,
Grow eyes to see and look in,
And a heart to grab its beauty,
Lungs to breathe air,
And a heart to be patient when you're raging with flares.

With God as my guide,
I will stand tall and fight,
Rushing for the slightest ray of light,
Triumphant I stand by the power of Christ,

I fight,

And with the grace I've been given,
I see the motivation,
Which has sent me driven,

Through my body and soul I will express my heart,
And with God whose given me the gift to give,
Soul and dance my body will shift,
My heart set adrift,

Each moment I've been given my day,
The worst night brings to the brightest sun ray,
It looks like a game, but I do not play,
Fuck the rhymes,
It's about time.

Let my body and soul do the rhyme,
Transition by transition, God gave me time,
I'll do all I can do, it's no crime,
Express and feel, my soul is worth more than a dime.

A million or more,
I know I can soar,

I know, My dad was right,
Somehow I saw from his dark soul, a light,
He walked up the stairs after a fight,
A fight so tight,
A father and son, finally reunite.

No more, No more did he turn the deaf ear,
I see him smile, I felt his heart cheer,
I smelled the beer, and the fear,
His son was almost as large as he is and he cries a tear.

I'm not weak,
I can fight,

I used to think you thought I was nothing,
But I was something,
Ultimately the only thing,
That was right in your life.

I'll rock this world and you'll be proud,
I'll bring you up with me along with the crowd,
The crowds of people whom I grown to love,
The world isn't horrible, the world's just like a dove,

I'll do you proud,

To both my fathers, spirit and blood,
Guide me well while I walk my word,
I never looked at life so simply.

Watch me rock your world.

Superstar?

2011-02-24T01:31:00.001+08:00

You think you a superstar?

You only a black hole,

A flat note that can't sing whole,

You're playing a role of a fool,

Treating people like tools,

You think you a superstar?

Fuck it, you're nothing on par.

LUST + SLUT = LUSTFUL SLUT

2011-01-29T02:55:00.003+08:00

Girl what's your age?
You disgust me from your attitude to your facebook page,
Yeah hey, its true that I'm no sage,
It don't even take an idiot to tell that you want cock juice all over your face,
I swore that if I locked you in a cage,
You'd get rushed up, certified lust rage,

Fuck every single thing that look straight and hard in yo eyes,
The only pastry you hunger for are creampies,
You tellin me you ain't? You tellin' lies,
That's right, you 'flash' lights,
Bitch you uploading porn shit on your sites,

Shame on you fo' bein' a ho,
Lapdog shit you take from a television show,
Be it 90210 or a fat ass porno,
You'll do anything as long as the dude makes you feel any less homo,

You're a joke,
I'll have to admit you got me to choke,
But fo' all the wrong reasons, I'm stoked,
You didn't make me jealous, And thats no joke,
I'm sick and I'm laughing and I gotta say thats dope,
Go ahead, go make a porno with your man, you little whore,
I'm gonna avert my eyes from you, you eyesore,
You're disgusting from the toe to your skin pore.

Mind.

2011-01-15T02:40:00.002+08:00

When you talk about your mind,
Enslaved by space and time,
Work your hardest to make it fine,
Grind every piece of knowledge,
Work between every line,

You're only trapped in a box,
Like a drawer full of socks,
And rocks, and dare I say it memories of cocks,
Jerks, Perks, fears of people who lurk,
In your mind,
Enslaved by the common kind.

Break the time and space,
Head on, face to face,
Distort your art from a common place,
Create and destroy, all has a pace,
Embrace,

That the world is like water,
Solids are just walking ground,

Although I sound profound,
I only pound,

Pound the thoughts which not slave any longer time or space,
Nor any kind of stable pace,
I create those that people long or fear to create,
I create movement which people fear to berate,
I create,

From nothing to something,
I too, numb from that fumbling,
My mind wishes to be free,
So it can see,
And be,
All that it sees,
Will be all that it be.

True Hate.

2011-01-02T03:43:00.002+08:00

FUCKING GARBAGE.
USELESS SHITHEADS.
All the pain and the carnage,
I'm sure I'm not the one who's head is dead.

You're the one cursing at me and my brother,
The respect that you yearn from us we won't give another,
You're not worth it I'll tear your 'respect' asunder,
No wonder,
You got no friends you're a one hit blunder.

We told you and we were reasonable,
As far as I'm concerned you're just feeble,
Yeah you live life on reverse, evil,
I'm out just like what you wanted,
Don't call me your son I'm just a wandering mistake.
You're fake.

Pride?

2010-11-20T04:18:00.002+08:00

(?) Pride (?)

Apparently size does matter,

Makes the smaller, served up in a platter,
Which I'm afraid to say you can join the latter,
You're a cheap grade plaster,
You cover something but fail to cure,
Give the wound infection and you've failed for sure,
You think you're grade-A and pure?
You're a loser who bites on a lure,
Gets fished out, force yourself to be adjourned,
Blames on the next bitch that passes you by,
Saying "HEY ITS NOT ME IM NOT THE GUY,
I'M JUST ANOTHER STAR WAITING TO FLY,
GIMME SOME TIME, I'LL DO IT RIGHT,"
Yeah right, get another chance just to laugh at the poor guy,

You're a disgrace, no more respect,
You're everything that I never wanted to expect,
You're like a worm who digs outta the dirt,
Gets soaked in the sun and dries from all the hurt,
You're a softie and I can relate,
Difference is I am respectable and you ain't,
You think you're a saint?
You're gonna make your mom faint,
Just sayin'
I wish you were back to not playin',
This game that we call 'our world',
You know what we do and you slow like a turtle,
You dont represent,
You disappoint and leave resent,

You're not worth it,
Just another insect,
Face it,
You're forever gonna be inept.

Passion.

2010-11-07T04:23:00.002+08:00

I broke down again,
But I shed no tear,
The moment I woke up,
It was like I had no fear,
I'm breaking loose to feed my peers,

All the smiles and laughter I shared,
Nothing in this world could've compared,
I look at myself and its there and I cared,
Don't joke with yourself anymore, it's paired,
With the love and the want,
To want what you love and grow the seed that I plant,
No matter the sweat I shed and as much as I pant,
I'll scream and shout with the passion and the emotion,
I've put my body in motion, its time to start a commotion,

Dance, you're beautiful,
With you I'd work plentiful,
My body, don't fail me, no,
My heart is ready to shoot up like a bow and arrow,
Its with my whole heart, body and soul,
Thats how I roll,
The role, that I play makes me want more,
Its like bloodlust cept that you hunger for your body to sore,
It'll rip and eat me from the core,
But thats when you love something, you'll crave and it'll never bore,

I've lost the love meant that I lost the game,
I'm back and no its not about fortune or fame,
It's about going insane,
It's about killing the stage,
And no matter what I'd do I better break through this cage,

I love you, dance,
It's never been the same,
You've provided me with every kinds of pain,
Heart, body and soul, passion burns time and time again,
I refuse to be stagnant and be lame,
It's time to break out from that shell we call 'fear',
And say 'lets break it down, and make them cheer.',
No longer will I fail to feed my peer,
This is a promise, I must forever hold dear.

Sick Kicks and Dipshits.

2010-10-03T02:38:00.001+08:00

Im tired of this hoe,
Bringin' me down some more,

He and his backstabbing,
Well I ain't cramping,
This shit is ready to start jabbin'
I'm a loose cannon,
How can he be such a man when,
He had a motherfucking boobjob in,

Paid for,
Sucked for,
That shit's not funny,
But still he wipes the floor,
With his ass crack on the floor,
Going wit the flow,
Like he could ever follow,
Im done with this new kind of low,
A chinese guy who think he's one of the home,
When he acts like a black guy,
With the stank eye,
With a dick smaller than microscopic CGI,

Talk about humility,
He's a hypocrite with just too many,
He had too many friends who were just too friendly,

Never thought he'd be the one who turn quickly,

Touch fire and get burnt,
I'm hot and you're a turd,
Yeah I can walk my ass back but first,
I'mma let myself finish you up with a word for thirst ;
Yo' ain't gonna amount to shit I'mma say it first,

-----------------------

One ho, two ho, three ho, four,

Its about damn time I let this girl have what for,
I mean, then again her body looks just like the floor,
With people stepping on her just like the recessive poor,
I'm a bit confused cause I could've sworn she was a dude from the core,

Look, how's about you put in here my stick,
If thats all its good for its a luxury for me to show my dick,
Give it a lick,
You little prick,
Do I make you sick?
Well I'm glad I do, cause a fist is too good for you,
I got a pull, I know I made you drool,
Nitric acid that you playing with fool,
I'mma fill it up and drown you in that damn pool,
You're a tool,
Wished you'd stay cool,
Now you're like the disabled dude,

Choke hold on to your skinny ass neck,
Wring you around like Kentucky Fried's peck,
Yeah rip out your sack,
Laugh while you're screaming at,

'HELP ME, IM SORRY I TAKE IT BACK,'
HA! Bitch there's no nickle back,

You're a cheap crack,
Gimme that track,
I'mma define the word wack,
On both of your backs,
I'mma stick tacks in your baby's ass,
Take notes cause Imma say what you lack,
First of all it starts with every single thing you've ever packed,
I mean, how can shit like you ever be sacked?
You're hilarious man, thats why I'll hold back,
I'mma say it again 'you wack,'
'Fuck you, but I hope you love this track,'

Clutch

2010-09-27T01:47:00.002+08:00

Hold me tight, its not enough,
Reach out to my shoulders, its not enough,
Stop fooling around, its just getting tough,
I'm waiting for a life-line with the strings that are cut,
And all I know is that its too much,
I'm gonna let go, this is a pointless clutch,
Just the touch,
I can't let go of you that much,

But I have to, its over,
I'm gonna have to stand up and be sober,
Time to move on the new order,
But its more than just divide and conquer,
Its a one man army,
And I'm the one holding the MP-40,

Its not the least bit funny,
When you think life's all sunny,

Its not sugar and rainbows,
Its all blood-stained elbows,
Even Tony Jaa's gonna be growing old,
And as far as I'm concerned he was the one who sold,
And he was invincible as I was told,
But time's gonna leave him stone cold.

Its a Texas hold up and I'm the one who never folds,

This is all a lie, this is all too bold,

I'll only keep walking cause I know this much,
I'll never find happiness if I stick with such and such,
Variety'll be your best friend you know that as you hunch,

We're all the same bunch,
She can keep teasing but I'll just be in-touch,
Its like I'm trying to talk to her when she speaks Dutch,
Its too much,
I'm giving up on this lust,
And I trust,
I'll find a love that is worth to be fussed,

Love. Life.

2010-09-22T00:02:00.002+08:00

After all that's been said and done,
I could never muster myself to face what I have become,

and even under the shining sun,
All I do is hit and run,
All I see is the backtracking drum,
The beats will chase me till they drown out my gun,

And imagine,
All I ever wanted to do was to be happy,
I guess a love that I'm struggling with is a bit too sappy,
Face it, its reality,
a tragedy,
A god-damn comedy,
However you like to interpret it I'd accept it gladly,

Cause mixed feelings as bad as a cocktail,
I'd kiss myself goodnight with a grenade pin on my left arm,
As i grab on to my right,
Everything fades to light,
No it doesn't, I can't cause that shits not right,

All I can say is that I'm having fun,
Playing with the number one,
I can dance, I can fly, its a highway to some,
But a future for none,
so I guess to them I'm as good as done,
But hey,
As much as I'd hate to admit it this is what I've become.

There wasn't much of a pen or a paper to write this slam,
Hey damn, I'm thinking as least as I can,
Its the flow naturale you can't diss my style,
I'm more dope than the hole in your earlobe,

Hah! Thats right I'm talking to you,
Asking me to freestyle for you,
All I can do is stay true,
Cause thats what I do,
Its Rise representing,
Here, how's this for cool?

-- Dedicated to the friends whom I shared laughs with, the people who'd drink, shout, scream, and dream with me.

I don't stop fallin.

2010-09-12T03:44:00.002+08:00

I don't stop falling,
Its the end of my calling,
I'm dropping,
In the darkest of holes,
I'm being swallowed whole,
I don't stop falling,
Cause I can't keep myself from dropping.

I don't stop falling,
But I don't stop rising,
I'm flying whenever its my calling,
I'm hardballing,
Its time for a comeback,
Like the words from a famous soul jack,
'You like that? Cause I'm back,'

Fail and fail if I must,
I'll get up and do myself just,
If it means I would become the victor of my time,
I'll break all the boundaries and pay no fine,
I'm gonna grind on my imperfections,
Yeah they gonna shine,
Yeah you know, primetime,
Whats the line?
'Just keep it alive'.

You know what?
I don't stop falling,
Cause I can't help but [Ri]se.

Take me to the Top.

2010-07-27T00:54:00.001+08:00

Girl you're driving me like a rollercoaster.

Round and round and take me to the top.

I love it when you do that baby. <3

Slam III

2010-07-13T22:51:00.003+08:00

Faith. Hope. Love.

----x----

Don't hesitate and stray,
Stay your path and look straight,
The one you love is at stake,
This is a gamble,
One we have to take,

Faith, Hope, Love, See,
Trust, Perseverance sets us free,
Love is not one, nor is it three,
Its two of us, you and me,

Say I'm the one,
Cause you're a ten,
'I love you' isn't a word anymore,
It just made sense,
Its a lifestyle,
You're ready to take,
It's a thousand miles,
It's our chosen fate,

Its not just limerence,

Its perseverance,
Forget the past-tense,
You're my essence,
Ethereal, you're what made me,
Heavenly, so to speak truthfully,
Shh, don't say a word,
You and I don't need to love verbally,

Heart to heart,
Not word to word,
'Forever' isn't a good enough word,
To describe the soul,
The passion in the verbs,
It's absurd,
When you're quiet,
But when you are it don't hurt,

I don't need conversation,
I don't always need words,
As long as I know one day,
You'll love me back,
It's all I wish I deserved,

Don't hate me.

2010-07-13T01:09:00.002+08:00

I may come off as indecisive, but when I don't see a potential in something I would normally shake off my previous feelings and just walk it off. But this isn't just a potential something, this is something I treasure deeply - that person whom I love.

But sometimes I feel like when it came to her I'm trapped in a spider-web of barbed wires - I can't move anywhere without feeling like I'm just making her life harder than it already is. So, I guess it's better that our lives move along first, I mean, I don't wanna piss her off - I don't know how she feels, so I'm just gonna keep it down for now.

Don't hate me. I'm just looking out for what you might want.

Once again...

2010-07-11T19:21:00.002+08:00

I want to start blogging again, mainly cause I got nothing better to do with my life, and because of my laziness to blog about things that already happened (like the progress with the Alpha Crew, the dancing and so forth). I'm more inclined to blog about my personal feelings and emotions towards somethings around, something not related to the things people out there normally see in me, I'd like a person to generally understand that there isn't just one side to me.

But in this sad sad case, nothing interesting enough happened to make me wanna blog about it, I'm just slightly agitated I guess - when the person you want to get closer to won't answer your texts, I mean, I don't mind, but I wish it happened my way, everyone does, you know? =/

Slam II

2010-06-27T02:31:00.002+08:00

(I wanted to blog about our teachers day, penang and so forth, but really its too much to post about, I see enough on facebook, so if you all wanna know what went on, its enough to just go there. Thanks xD)

Moving on!

--------------------

Be a boy,
Not a toy,
Be a B-boy,
Not a toy,
Be yourself,
Going through hells,
Only to land into the hard floor,
Slam, wham, bam, you fell,
Hold up I'm gonna kip-up and rock the floor,
I'm not just gonna fall,
I'm gonna fall in style,
I'm gonna rock so smooth,
You gonna see my rocks from miles,
I'm just gonna play my styles,
Locking,
Popping,
Breaking,
You name it,
I'll do it,

Don't drop on your knees,
Do a knee drop,
Look up so you can see,
Your beautiful shoulder freeze,
They can stare and be,
All they want to be,
But they can't do,
What you can do,
They know you ain't a fool,
You're no tool,
Not acting cool,
But this is true,
You're a dancer through and through,

Adrenaline rush,
Like a Royal Flush,
I show my crown,
Props to James Brown,
The one who made me get down,
Rockin' it now,

I can't see the logic,
In the movement I make,
Its like I'm in a new world,
With a new logical intake,
Its Technologic,
Absolutely Chronic,
This dance is gonna be my drug,
My high,
I can stay alive,
I won't die,
As long as I can dance to the beat,
Show a great feat,
I'm not gonna stay on my seat,

Tick-tick-tick to the beat,
And wave with your whole body,
Loose boogaloo with a tight song,
By the time I'm done there's no right no wrong,
My dance is gonna last long,
I can't hold on,
Cause I gotta get it on,
I wanna rock on,

Getting down on your bad self,
Funky down on the mo-town,
I point out to the sky blue,
Jump back, kiss myself,
Here's a jazz split,
YEOW!
Baby I can't stop,
This dance is getting me hot,
Point, scare, twirl, lock,

I can't stop locking that lock.

Slam.

2010-06-20T04:00:00.002+08:00

Your hearts price is oh-fifty-five,
You're as cheap as a crack whore,
Can I get change for your life?
You're money picked up from the floor,
You're a bore,
A cheap street eyesore,

You're a class 'A' bitch,
Who thinks she's got a ball to pitch,

When you can't hit nothing,
You still start running,
Ain't no home run,
Its a loose gun,
Trigger pulling,
You better pray you wasn't the one that I was shooting,

You call me up only when I'm needed,
And when you need to be seeded,
I seen it,
You act like you mean it,
Like we could be 'it',
Like we could do 'it',
Your body is polluted,
I'm your cheap thrill,

You're deluded,

You didn't catch me when I eluded,

I'm not cheap like you,
I ain't got a price,
You think you're so cool,
Girl, you're like Kevin's ex wife,
Shavin' bald with soda in a baby bottle,
Paid for your clothes with a dick out to gobble,
Call me late at night asking for a little help,
I'll give you all the help you want girl,
I'll call mental help.

Penang in 1 1/2 Hours.

2010-06-06T05:25:00.004+08:00

[Respect D' 80's]
5.35 A.m.

Anyone who knows me enough knows that I never sleep before a camp/big event which I can definitely not afford to oversleep through. And the only event(s) that has ever given me such pressure were competitions and CF camp. And this time, it falls under the former - The Penang Street Dance Competition starts today.

I can't say I'm calm, I can't say I feel collected, I can't say I can do this with the up-most confidence. Cause honestly this time I can't afford it. its just not perfect.

I will do my best for the coming competition, till then, I just have to breathe a little easier. Cause I can't afford to lose myself in the middle of the very last minute rehearsal.

I need support.
I need a miracle.
I need God.
And,
I need you to keep rooting on for me.

Thank you.

See.

2010-05-30T01:28:00.002+08:00

A song I wrote to -WELLOKAYLASOMEOFYOUKNOWALREADY-.

[See]

If I played a dirty little trick on you,
I'd probably be figured out,
Girl you're as sharp as a razorblade,
I wonder if I could take you out.

All this time I've been looking at you from the back,
And in my heart I wondered what you lack,
Cause I've seen you sad,
I've seen you mad,
Behind your make up a depressing track,
And I wondered if you ever felt the same,
See.

Smile, girl, you're on my T.V. Screen,
Cause everything that you have,
Is everything that I need
Oh, girl, don't need to dress to kill,
Cause whats more important than whats under your shirt,
Is what's inside your - heart.

I've seen all your beautiful dresses,
And your messes,
You don't know what to do in your situation,
But the best is,
You fix it, and you get it done,

Cause I've seen you sad,
I've seen you mad,
Behind your make up a depressing track,
And I wondered if you ever felt the same,
See, Girl, look at me.

Smile, girl, you're on my T.V. Screen,
Cause everything that you have,
Is everything that I need
Oh, girl, don't need to dress to kill,
Cause whats more important than whats under your shirt,
Is what's inside your - heart.

------------------------

This is really just some 10-min song, as in, the process of writing it only took me 10 minutes, or so, because it was a lot of 'what I wanna say to you' and 'you know how you make me feel?' kind of things rather than any wordplay. I'm basically just throwing out how I feel about -YEAHLAYEAHLATHISGIRLLA-.

(and maybe try to sound a little sexual? lmao)

Citrawarna 2010 : How we did!

2010-05-26T01:02:00.008+08:00

Late update, I GUESS. But you know, I'm a busy busy man (yeah right).

As some of you know I danced for the Citrawarna 2010 (or something along those lines, whateverrr), parade, it was seriously a great experience overall and I had alot of fun (despite the crazy ass running/marching we had to do, not to mention the hours long waits we had, yes, WAITS. WITH AN S.), it was great being exposed to the Malaysian mass media scene in general, with mostly local singers and dance crews/dancers performing (I think EVERYONE was local at that point but, ah, you never know), I honestly believe the modern arts in Malaysia are growing better by the day, take away that old opinion I had of the local industries.

SO! Back to the subject.

Basically this is what the place looked like :

This is one side.

This is opposite the Agong's seating (Mainly the backdrop before it was completely set up).

This was the opposite of the picture above, like I stated, this was during rehearsal so it was pretty incomplete.

Some photography I decided to do, since I wanted a new wallpaper (But I got used to a black background so this was out of the picture).

So, with that out of the way, lets talk about the people!

Mainly the people that were with us were :

4/5 of IMBA/AlphaQ crew :
-Me
-Jon
-Blackinese (Yin Chuan)
-Semut (Antonio)

Eric, Tero, Simon, Ah Boii, Charles, Chriz and Joe from ECX, Hatta, Jun Yew...

...Am I forgetting something...?

...-looks at the wall-, right.

Jon staring into blank space and Eric's 0.5 second delayed reaction to me taking a candid photo of him.

Random photo-ing.

Don't ask me about Charles' thumbs up, even I don't know what its for.

Eric upholds his title as 'Emo Guy' :D

Hatta, Jun, Jon and that black Chinese fellar.

A not-so-innocent shot of The blackinese, and Jun... Getting happy time from Jon? :D

Jon and I will emo as well... :(

Just the 5 of us posing pretty. :D

4/5 of the IMBA/AlphaQ crew! (ignore the random head in the middle xD)

Pictures of Simon (left) and Tero (Right) :D

Meeet Chriz! Right at the middle there. :D

Chriz doing his finger tutting thing for our visual enjoyment.

That was just rehearsal LOL :

After we left to get rest for the day to come, we decided to random a bit on the LRT.

... Maybe a bit is an understatement :

As you can see Jun's 'WHY ME!?' face, it was pretty crazy in there. :D

Next DAY!

Tension.

Rising at the day of the parade.

CAN WE DO IT!?

WAS IT POSSIBLE!?

TENSION. WAS RISING.

We tried our best.

We felt ready.

BUT.

As you can see from Charles' face.

WE FALL.

LOL jk, it was fun! We did great! :D

I had a great experience overall! Met many new friends like Bryan, a kickass b-boy who gave me some tips, a lot of street dancers of different levels, it was nuts! Great time :)

Maybe I'll do it again next year? I dunno, lol, but all I do know is that I had great fun!

This is one of those rare, long posts that come out in my blog every once in awhile, love me, cause it's 1.53 a.m. and I have a science test tomorrow, fml. :D

-[Ri]se-

I'lldie.

2010-05-18T23:50:00.002+08:00

Coulda been another one of those,
Coulda made it,
Woulda made it,
Shoulda made it,
Had I gave it,
Just a little bit more of my time.
Just a little focus,
Coulda broke this,
Woulda woke this,
Shoulda choked this,
Had I chose bliss I'dve left this infatuation,

Ifuleave

2010-05-18T23:37:00.001+08:00

I miss how we were.

But if you believe
You'll do best without me
I'll let it go girl, its over
Before we say goodbye
Let's give it a try
If you leave, then baby I'll leave..

a m e.

2010-05-17T00:24:00.013+08:00

どこね？

おぼえてか？

きみのこころが。。。どこ？

たすけてくれるか？

West Side Story.

2010-05-15T00:18:00.002+08:00

No, it is not about Cowboys, Jeffrey.

So, I watched West Side Story - a famous Broadway show being performed for an extremely limited duration in Malaysia, a musical book (which was also made into a film) based on street gangs in the 1950's (you know, when swing dance was their shuffle -.-), Jets and Sharks, two ethical street gangs, where the Jets are young Caucasian delinquents who believe to be authentic, true blue Americans and Sharks are Puerto Rican immigrants who come to America looking for jobs and money. Its quite different watching a musical live rather than through a Television or internet, what I felt was a completely different dimension in performances, both visual and auditory.

And as with many ethical gang vs gang stories, to make it to Broadway, you need love. Lots of it too.

This one was a pretty similar scenario - think Romeo & Juliet, or in this case, Tony and Maria, who belong to opposing ethical groups, finds love in each other as they meet in the local dance club (How cynical and stereotyped, they find love the moment they see each other.).

Whatever happens next, is up to you to find out, all I can say is that it changed my paradigm towards Broadway musicals and numbers completely, normally I expected grandeur swing numbers with wind instruments BLARING throughout the entire stage, what I got was a melancholic symphony, full of Tim Burton's Sweeny Todd's-esque music, something very, well, Anti-Broadway in my older opinion.

Ultimaxx : The Good, The Bad, The Retarded

2010-05-10T23:33:00.003+08:00

[Ri]se.

2010-05-08T03:04:00.004+08:00

Dancing was just a pastime to get me away from that old lifestyle that I led, after crashing down and burning horribly - I just needed some escape, a way to just not think about the mistakes I've done and the things I was before, and it was the best choice, it wasn't at all related to who I was, it was unheard of, something I could've never seen myself doing years before.

Well, was.

It evolved into my identity, the culture so magnificently portrayed through the movements and the freedom and allowing myself to be happy. It started with B-boying, and then Locking, and then L.A. style Hip Hop, Popping, and then everything else that followed which made me express myself - anger, happiness, freedom, melancholy - all of it, in a single movement.

I was easily influenced by the things around me in the past - I would easily let myself be caught up in my favorite singer, artist, philosopher - you name it, I'll copy it, and have no sense of originality. I was emotionally weak, and sore on the inside, so I pretend to be another, I wear a mask of another, I become strong - because they are strong.

It just brought me more and more hurt, I wanted to be liberated from this all.

Emotionally, I sculpted my own image of myself. What I wanna be is me - not a late 1980's rock star, not an anger-driven white rapper, not an anti-patriotic, glue sniffin' rehab reject with a guitar, not a virtuoso of the six stringed instrument, not a Neo-Japanese Visual screamo object, not a self-inflictive hollow-hearted boy without any form of security besides scratching the fuck out of himself after losing a loved one.

This time of year, its gonna be different, yeah, I'm egoistical, I take pride in what I do. But thats me, man, I got ego for being free, I take pride cause a passion should be burning, I am me cause I love it. And now I'm proud to see, I've built myself - I'm me now, thats why I feel so safe when I started, thats why I'm so safe now.

You all know who you are - my crew, my loved ones, my most cherished friends, my brothers, who supported me through the worst, who joined me in front of the studio mirror, who danced with me, who taught me what I couldn't learn so soon, who supported me not only inside, but outside the dance studio. I owe a big deal to you all, because at this point of time, I'm free cause of your support.

I'll [Ri]se, for all of your sakes. Watch me.

You still are funny to me

2010-05-01T01:06:00.002+08:00

You still make me laugh, :)

I reallyreallyreallyreally wanna say your name out right now but I don't know if you'd ever approve of it.

but you know, I can't remember the last time I felt so... Different. Watching you from the behind this time instead of you, it feels like everythings in reverse, hahaha. But this time, I hope it don't take 3 years. xD

When The Stars Go Blue.

2010-04-30T23:20:00.003+08:00

After dancing, I have a long walk from there to home, what I usually do is sing, so when I got back, since I still had the song stuck in my head, might as well :D

Dedicated to Jeff, for being a Ryan Adam cheerleader, and for that lover I never had. xD

I'm tired... Again.

2010-04-28T21:03:00.002+08:00

So tired, it's just exhausting, to live on like this - just hanging on to something so helpless brings me nothing but despair, and you don't have to try to make me think otherwise - I need the honesty right now.

I'm sorry, I'll stop, its about time I lived my own life, away from all this. I'll find my own happiness, you never needed me to be happy. I guess its time I think about myself now.

Take good care of yourself, the girl whom I loved too deeply. Goodbye.

Knockin On Heaven's Door

2010-04-22T22:53:00.002+08:00

Decided to cover an old favorite of mine, I was freestyling most everything so forgive me if I sounded off tune every now and then, I wasn't such a perfectionist, it was for fun. xD

Dedicated to all my rocker friends, and parents. lmfao xD

How low can this rabbit hole go?

2010-04-16T23:54:00.002+08:00

Yes, I scribbled.

The week is over, and I'm fucking relieved, finally, I can rest easier, this week was full of unnecessary pressure, tension, and problems.

But it ain't over yet.

I'm worried for her because she was about to give up on her dream, her passion.

Its just that - I'm worried for her, cause I know she's giving up her own happiness for this.

I want you to know - if you know who you are, that I can't change your choice, but you're giving up what little happiness you have left in this world to do what you think is responsible, try balancing, not giving things up outright, I hope you even read my blog -.-".

I'm tired

2010-04-15T23:14:00.002+08:00

I'm sick and tired of this whole week, it may be moving fast, but its seriously full of shit.

I'll be frank, the time when I wanted my parents to care, they shook it off like dust to their shoulders, the moment I didn't need it and they find fault in the things I'm doing, SUDDENLY I matter. I know they care from the bottom of their hearts, but frankly, I'm sick of the pressure.

I can't work with certain people, in the school, in the house, nearly everywhere, I find refuge in the dance studio, where I can actually just not care, I have a bunch of friends who wouldn't make such a fuss over the little imperfections I have, and there are those who want me to improve, from the heart, which I am glad about, for both of those friends.

I'm tired of this, I wanna stop, I can't. I wanna just go through everyday living like my parents didn't so much as exist, just sometimes, not always, I love them, I really do, but its tiring just having them come around and make such a fuss about the mistakes I've made. I'm paying for the things I've done as it is - don't make the price any bigger, please.

Its been a horrible week. To be perfectly and utterly honest.

2010-04-05T22:36:00.003+08:00

Dedicated to someone I love dearly. Obviously. Regardless she sees this or not. :)

- 03, April, 2010 by Me.

Lyrics :

I see you,
In the far reach of my eyes,
Although you can't look at me the way I look at you,
Its okay,

Its okay,
Life ain't black and grey,
You're the color to my life,
You're the truth, the only one I desire,

So go slow, and see,
You are my poetry,
Through Life, and Death,
And everything in between,
You're Far, so far,
But one day you'll see,
I love you, you're all that I need,
You're all that I need,

With a book in hand,
I could write about everything that has ever been,
Like you and me, and the park where we used to meet,
And since then, everything made sense,

So go slow, and see,
You are my poetry,
Through Life, and Death,
And everything in between,
You're Far, so far,
But one day you'll see,
I love you, you're all that I need,
You're all that I need,

The way you dance,
The way you laugh,
Put me in a trance,

The way you smile,
I'd run a mile,
Just see you for awhile,

I don't care what they say,
Their words I'd throw away,
I just wanna see you,

So go slow, and see,
You are my poetry,
Through Life, and Death,
And everything in between,
You're Far, so far,
But one day you'll see,
I love you, you're all that I need,
You're all that I need,

(Lyrics in demand by Xin Wei :P)

FML.

2010-03-23T01:48:00.002+08:00

So today I wasn't feeling so well, my dad so kindly insisted (yeah right.) that I should go to school anyway, and gave me a year old clinic pill for headaches and fevers.

I felt like utter shit.

The time I got back home I could not help but just stare into blank space, I had enough, when it started raining - I went up to my room and then my memory blanked. I fell asleep without even knowing it - and missed my date to the dance studio.

FML? Fml indeed. D:

Inferiority complex.

2010-03-07T21:22:00.002+08:00

-thinks he's wrote this somewhere before-

So okay, once again (as usual) I'd be going through this phase where my confidence is not at its best, and thats an understatement - I feel horrible. Seriously.

I would constantly ask myself the same questions in which I have answered and not find it satisfactory - I would constantly change the answers which don't make sense and I will run back to the first conclusion. Life is such an enigma which is both the reason for its beauty as well as its horror. Why do I find answers when I know its unsafe? I don't know, I just do. Cause its horrible to feel unsafe, and for a person to tell me 'ah just shake it off, look at what I can do,'

Well, hello there, I'm not you.

I'm not even remotely smart,
not remotely good-looking,
not remotely strong,

not remotely talented,
not remotely mature,
not remotely normal.

And I wonder why I don't have much friends, I wonder why I don't have much company. Well, its pretty obvious now.

I'm just too depressing for all of you.

Mother.

2010-02-26T15:28:00.004+08:00

For you I'd do anything,
Tear myself in two,
Just to hear you breathe.

And my memories don't fade,
From you who were here with me,
A painful upbringing will never compare,
To missing someone so dear.

You were never gone in my heart,
You just thought I wished you were dead.
I didn't, I won't ever.
Mother,

The longer you leave someone, the more you'd miss them, consequently, we'd just lose anything to say about them.

I've dealt with divorce at a young age, and its not exactly smooth upbringings from there on in, but I've always loved my parents in all their imperfection at the end of the day. I've been through all the mental abuse, the mistreatment and the good times as well, sometimes, I'd wonder how things were at my mothers side, after hearing all the issues she faced, I could only wish she was fine.

I wanted to call her during Chinese New Years but I never did get into contact with her. And then when I did finally manage to contact her - thinking I could finally smile a bit. There she said it :

"If you're not gonna treat me like your mother don't call me your mother anymore!"

What does a child say to his/her mother at this point? What can they say?

I love you mom, I really do, I wish you'd understand, even though you toss me around every time, I feel hurt, I feel pain, cause I grew up not knowing how much it meant to a child to have their parents.

I envy those with non-divorced parents, I envy those who still have their mothers with them.

Love your mother, no one can replace them, not even a step-parent, as much as you can love them as well.

The weirdest dream in my entire life.

2010-02-22T00:09:00.002+08:00

Okay, first, could you imagine a Bleach character ( a Shinigami to be exact ), to turn out to be one of the biggest fan of Peter Chao, ever?

That was the beginning - that was me. LOL.

Okay, so the story of my dream goes like this :

I was an ordinary Malaysian high school student, who wanted to eat pork balls and siu mai from the pasar malam....

Cept the fact that the pasar malam people are total assholes who dont allow the sales of pork balls and siu mai in one place! (WTF) so they started fighting with me (The pork ball vendor, the dim sum vendor, and some old man that sells veggies next to the pork ball vendor) and argued with me in chinese, this lasted all the way till I walked to the road along INC 1, and then I couldn't take it anymore.

I transformed into a Shinigami and whooped their asses (which supposedly isn't even remotely possible considering that Shinigami's are spirits and I'd literally just faint in front of them upon transforming), they all bowed and apologized to me, I didn't even use my sword, I just had some badass sunglasses, a big ass sword, but I kicked them to submission. Then, came my awesome punchline. As I looked into the sky, I wore a grim smile and said it :

"Chao Sai, Motherfucker."

I woke up and actually said that aloud... And fell asleep again, LOL, after some unexplained imagery of my dark room and having some evil stuff (which was pretty scary for the most part), it started to make sense again.

I was in a One Piece featurette starring as my own genius creation - the Peter Chao Shinigami, complete with Shikai and Bankai modes, which were both used for the old men who didnt want to sell me their fucking pork balls and the One Piece main antagonists respectively.

Epic battles here and there, a few minutes later, my dreamed strayed from catching my brothers using the computer to play pornographic video games (hentai stuff, Lmao), to a Final Fantasy Tactics mini-side scroller, which I had to play to unlock the final content of my epic dream.

Oh this is the best part :

My creation appeared to a very familiar soundtrack, as well as several Soul Eater characters.

-WWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

-cue drums and guitar-

It started when an alien device did what it did

And stuck itself upon his wrist with secrets that it hid

Now he's got super powers, he's no ordinary kid

He's Ben 10.

So if you see him you might be in for a big surprise,
He'll turn into an alien before your very eyes
He's slimy, freaky, fast and strong, he's every shape and size
He's Ben 10

Armed with powers, he's on the case
Fighting off evil from Earth or space
He'll never stop till he makes them pay
'Cause he's the baddest kid to ever save the day
Ben 10″

...

...

...

...

...... I'm not joking. All this bad -asstery was promptly seized upon the damn chinese new year fireworks.

DAMN YOU ALL. DAMN YOU ALL TO HECK.

Candy Dulfer

2010-02-21T20:35:00.002+08:00

Has anyone ever held a huge, golden wind instrument so well and look like sex? Well, Candy Dulfer has.

Yes yes, its been well over years now, but I'd be damned to know her audio artistry well before in the past but never knew it was her.

Hell, Now I'm in love with the saxophone.

I'm sorry.

2010-02-20T05:31:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry I've been bad, I'm sorry I was blue, I'm sorry for all the things I said to you.

I'm sorry for the lies, I'm sorry for the hate, I'm sorry for every single thing I've made,

I'm sorry for being mad, I'm sorry for cutting, I'm sorry for burning myself out,

I'm sorry for turning you into an excuse, I'm sorry for making you the reason,

I'm sorry for everything.

You know who you are, but you don't come around anymore, so I guess we'll never be friends again.

When your world changes before you

2010-02-13T01:33:00.000+08:00

Its like the world you never knew,
A world I'd never expect myself to be in.

Do you see me where I am right now?

My sources of happiness and comfort.

My loving saving graces

My idea of a good time, and fun.

and a bunch of new friends I'd never thought I'd be with.

Now look at yourself, and ask - Who is the one thats happy now?

Vanity : [SkullCandy] SkllCrshrs

2010-02-11T22:53:00.000+08:00

Vanity : Comes in many shapes and sizes, works all ways, does alot of things to you.

What isn't vanity?

So today I'm here to show off my newest purchase : The Skullcrusher (I just called it SkllCrshrs cause it sounds cooler lmao :D). And this thing cost a load when I saw its price tag, but the moment I put them on I had an eargasm of many multitudes, THE BASS WAS PUMPING SO HARD THE HEADPHONES STARTED VIBRATING. That doesn't rob it from the very clarity that makes it so awesome! I could barely hear what people are saying (which is a plus cause I really, REALLY want to make sure I could hear no one when I turn it on :P)

Okay, so basically : IM LITERALLY HAVING SEX WITH MY EARS WITH THIS THING. :D

And yes it folds up, oh, and YES. I AM A POSER. :D

Sometimes.

2010-02-09T23:58:00.001+08:00

You gotta let another person's love-tragedy to rub off in your own damn tragedy.

After all, its love.

What do you want from me?

2010-02-06T12:38:00.000+08:00

Slow down, its been awhile,
I noticed we don't even speak anymore,
I know I said some things,
But forgive me, I was angry.

Its not that I am groveling on your feet,
I just miss you,
I just miss you.
So much.

Rockafella

2010-02-03T23:38:00.001+08:00

It is my freedom in which I will not surrender,
My salvation in which I will never concede,
My sanctuary through the auditory system,
Such pleasures like a drug in all its splendor,

A royal treat,
A feast of the ears in which Solomon himself has graced,
A pentatonic ascending through the neck of my beauty,
Freedom for my soul as I grace through each fret,

I will never forsake the love of my life,
One that is never selfish, and always humble,
It is the reason I do not fall in strife,
As each trouble will crumble,

This is my Muse, My Love, My true,

A moment of freedom,
No time to catch breaths,
Like ecstasy to adrenaline,
It leaves me fresh, tired, but free from stress,

I no longer feel contained,
Each step lights a way,
My constricts, broken, no longer constrained,
I can't hold back, I can't stray,

Shackles and chains, break!
I'm not gonna take this sitting down,
This is my time, my take!
I'm free from the world cause I can get down,

I'm always in a trance, when I dance,

dystopia

2010-01-31T02:10:00.000+08:00

Dystopia :

(from the Greek δυσ- and τόπος, alternatively, cacotopia, kakotopia, cackotopia, or anti-utopia) is the often futuristic vision of a society in which conditions of life are miserable and characterized by poverty, oppression, war, violence and/or terror, resulting in widespread unhappiness, suffering, and other kinds of pain.

Alternatively, the view I beheld to me towards this world.

A world filled with a melancholic plague which results each and every resident to be affected one way or another - be it an undying wish to escape it with anti-moralled acts, to act ignorant to it whatsoever, or hide it within our human mind, producing a shell without a soul in it called a heart. Or perhaps a pained end to ones own life in their own hands, suicide.

I'm not any different from these victims - however I hold my head high in anyway I can.

Because I am only a human being, but human beings have had their way into rending its culture and humanity into this way just for a sake of given convenience, I may be vulgar, simple-minded, barbaric if you will, may even go as far as to say I have no shame. But it is the majority of humanity in which does not accept my path of thinking, my so called 'ideology' which I consider my God. My way of treating another human being. My way of upholding my way.

God did not intend this to happen, no, God saw it coming, but He did not know for sure, what we would do, we're not statistics to him, but the ongoing argument between humanity and its religions eventually fell into a numeric value - because humans do not feel safe unless they bring themselves to thinking that a certain entity in life is fact, not opinion.

But the ugly face behind 'fact', its entirety would be questioned by some such people to think that this, too, is opinion, why? Merely because the majority of the world has now blurred the line between 'fact' and 'security'.

We would assure ourselves that :

'Yes, this is fact,'
'It has been proven by scientists that -'
'This was the way God made it,'

So that we would no longer question it, and follow it - why are people still dying over the most trivial matters? Why are certain habitual actions accepted in this continent, but not another?

We're not united as human beings unless we are brought under one rule - until then, we are no different than the classifications of animals and its species as we do not act under the same habits, we are human beings - thats our race, but we are also human beings with a variety of species which can be classified : a Caucasian, an Asian, a Negro, a Hispanic - and its sub-species (which were so cleverly disguised with a better word - cultures) such as religions and nationalities.

Don't you see, my dear reader? We're animals.

HUMAN BEINGS ARE ANIMALS.

Its... BACK.

2010-01-23T00:26:00.000+08:00

My computer... Its... ITS BACK!

EVERYONE : FREAK OUT!

^ That there's a handsome dude by the way.

Glee

2010-01-20T22:41:00.000+08:00

Oh, COME ON.

Someone would've been waiting for me to post about this, mainly because :

a) This is a COMEDY. Anyone who knew me in the right mind knows I LOVE comedies.
b) It's a MUSIC-RELATED show. :D

And okay, SOMEONE would've been counting down the days where fate and I met with this show, and lemme tell ya, this is the best flucking musical tv-series I've ever seen since HOUSE. WITHOUT THE MUSIC.

And as an added side-effect, I'm now reminded of that 1980's REPETITIVE hit, you know, the song that no one really remembers but remembers the whole 'SHE TOOK A MIDNIGHT TRAIN GOING ANNNNEEEEEEWHHEEEEERREEEEE!' thanks to that show 'The Comebacks'?

This is just ridiculous. LOL

So,

2010-01-17T03:00:00.000+08:00

Why hasn't my blog been updated? Mainly? Cause my desktop comp is out, and I'm using my laptop which means I can't upload my pictures, videos, and the like.

Excuses aside, I've been doing pretty good, so helloo everyone~

Yeah, another typical 'this was how school went' post ;

School is great so far, the whole 'you're-in-form-5-start-fucking-studying' git hasn't got to me yet, I feel pretty care free. But a friend gave me some very good advice ; 'trust me, you're gonna wanna study at August, if you start now you'll forget everything before, so trust me, do it,'

Honestly, my excuse is 'YAY, MORE FUN.', and 'I CAN HANG OUT NAO LULZ', But, starting next week, in accordance to much of my lessons and co-curricular activities ;

I'm WORKING.

Not that I mind, really, I'm getting a stable Rm20 a day, working enough with accordance to the coming Chinese New Year means one thing and one thing only. 'It's all about da moneh moneh moneh,' and I think it's pretty damn sexy. <3

And, my off days are on weekends, oh joy, I'm still hanging out with my mates on the weekends. Its a good way to save money, now that I think of it. x)

Okay, Rico, you blog, you /need/ to take care of it...

... Pictures. Nao. I need them. D:

Sure, okay.

2010-01-14T00:09:00.000+08:00

Yeah. k.

Bring it on.

2010-01-13T00:05:00.000+08:00

Just try and come bust my face, you cowardly dog.

You know whats behind of me - but I'm not even gonna let them in the front lines, not after you kill me, when I'm gone, they can have their way.

But if you're asking for me, then its MY fight, its MY challenge, and I'll take it with arms wide open. Like a hungry dog you only hunt in a pack cause you know you ain't worth shit alone.

Don't be so insecure, you twat, come catch me if you can.

201st post

2010-01-01T20:46:00.000+08:00

On the first day of 2010, pretty cool huh?

---x---

So anyway, I guess although my chatbox isnt spammed with messages I do know people actually read this poor excuse of a blog, So, anyway. Happy new years everyone!

Not the kinda guy to run home at 12 am just to post this, Im not exactly punctual. xD

---x---

Harder Better Faster Stronger.

2009-12-30T03:14:00.000+08:00

You know, not alot of people might know this - but I think I'm commonly associated with Metal and Rock and all that.

But you know, I actually listen to trance, house, R&B and hip hop too?

._.

I love daft punk, I love Armin Van Buuren, I love Gorillaz, I think Busta Rhymes is badass, I would bang John Mayer.

... Yes, its official, I am bored.

Rachel.

2009-12-30T02:38:00.000+08:00

Rachel.

Rachel who?

Rachel Quah, thats who.

What about her?

She has a blog.

...

...No shit?

No way man.

...

...
Sex?

Oh... Yeahh..

YOU WILL VISIT THIS BLOG.
CLICK FOR AWESOME, ORGASMIC MATERIAL. :D

Sometimes we gotta hold on to that smallest inch of hope.

2009-12-30T02:30:00.000+08:00

Sometimes we gotta look in close.

And hold on to that small ray of light in those dark, enclosed 4 walls entrapped within you.

Sometimes.

---x---

Miscarriage is a horrible thing - no mother deserves to go through it, regardless of the sins that she bears.

Tragedies happen in a whirlwind fashion - very very fast, very sudden, and you don't know where it takes you.

My aunt, whom I was somewhat close with, suffered such a tragedy, I can only wish for her health as she's slowly recovering (and struggling to breathe), I can only sit here and wish for her happiness.

---x---

The Summarised laws of appreciation.

2009-12-26T04:46:00.000+08:00

Appreciation.

Favours :
It has nothing to do with the favors that you do or anything like that, but okay so basically a person that rampantly announces the happiness other brings doesn't announce you for whatever it is that you did, what does that tell you?

Simple, all in all, you aren't in his/her mind. Or rather, if you'd like to be the optimistic pessimist, that person kept the favor in heart, and never ever wanted to announce it... Keep believing what you think is the truth, really.

Easy right?

Thanking :
Thanking a person with a simple 'Thank You' does not mean it is underleveled from its exaggerated counterparts, such as 'OMGOMGOMGOMG THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU!' or 'Fuck. Me. Now.', sometimes, a simple thank you in the right place could mean more the world than an entire episode of 'How I Met Your Mother' with Barney Stinson shouting 'LEGENDARY.', whereas you'd be thought of as a complete drama whore when you start combusting spontaneously with thank yous while you're pregnant with emotion.

Insentive :
Okay think of this situation : You do a huge favour for a certain someone (God knows what is it okay? Cap someone, give them a blowjob, whatever floats your boat), and then he/she repays your debt by asking him/her out for a dinner date - What do you do?

Do you :

a) Run off the building screaming 'SHNORGLEFART!'
b) Call Heaven cause an angel just fell from Earth - and landed on him/her probably cause he/she has shit all around his/her nose.
c) Decline the dinner date - 'EXPENSIVE LA! I WAN DISCOUNT! RED LOBSTER NOT GOOD FOR SKIN U KNOW! COUNT ON MALAYSIA TO RUIN A PERFECTLY INNOCENT THANK YOU DATE WITH BAD TAXES INVESTED TO HARVEST BANANAS!'
d) Accept the dinner date - regardless, its just a simple thank you.
e) Accept the dinner date - DAYUM, THAT GIRL/MAN GOT ASS/DICK, IMMA HUMP (Yes, the girl too) THAT SHIT ALL NIGHT LONG TILL P.DIDDY REGRET DA DAY HE WENT UP ON THE MTV AWARDS.

Okay. So, lets be honest here. D is probably the lest attractive option out there.

Everyone wants a piece of C and E, and inevitably, we all choose A and B because, it is simply the truth.

now, to fully highlight this point, we go to the situation where (by default) you have chosen D (or E, for that matter, fucking pervert).

Next day :

a) Fuck
b) I
c) Didn't
d) Turn on
e) Alarm.

Moral of the story : if you want to see your thanks expressed (or if you wanna get lucky), try waking up. And put some elbow grease on it, why dont you?

Reading This Shit :
Dear Dr. Stupid -

I read an entree from you in http://hendryrice.blogspot.com, and now, I'm dead/ball-less/living in my mothers basement/watching Oprah/thinks Hannah Montana is cool.

WHERE THE FUCK HAVE I GONE WRONG?

With Love,
Angry Dave - Man who lives with mother.

--------

Dear Angry Dave - Of the Mother's Basement Clan,

First off, that entree was a joke, and absolutely should not be taken seriously, you, however have, and now fails at life.

I'm not a professional, I'm a 16 going 17 year old student (although sexy) who lives with parents (absolutely nothing wrong with that unless you hit the 30 year mark), and plays guitar. I was/is/always will be. Tired. And will occasionally/sometimes/always write nonsense articles (Albeit slightly true.),

Kindly, fuck off :)

With love,
Ri.

----

This. Is. Boredom. At its best.

----

Well, 5 more hours before I leave for Kuantan, it was fun guys. :P

Gnight!

A merry Christmas to everyone

2009-12-25T17:48:00.001+08:00

No, I'm not going to pose in my underwear wearing a Santa hat like some Hugo Boss model for the December Issue.

I would just like to wish EVERYONE a merry happy Christmas, and as for those who didn't spend much of their day enjoying themselves let me be the first to assure you that the real party actually starts at new year, if there was a time to be depressed over not being able to do anything on a particular day, THAT would be the day!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Gotta Love that christmas spirit, eh, guys? xD

Humanity.

2009-12-21T00:10:00.000+08:00

Humans :

Dumbed down, idiotic, and easy to please.

Simply enough, mankind has found pleasure in the simplest and most primitive of things.

For example, HARK, COMES THE MEN WHO PLEASE THEMSELVES WITH SLIDES.

After the dumbing down of humanity. There is only one form of salvation. And a sanctuary in which we can take refuge in.

... CUT3!

Your Smile.

2009-12-18T00:40:00.000+08:00

The only light I'll ever need in this darkness,
Was the light that you resonated.

Though I'm at the sidelines,
Watching you living full your life,
I can't help but groan at the pain,
Loving you from the sidelines, I've nothing to gain,

But it's okay,
I'll stay,
cause I love you anyway,
I see your smile, one that was bigger than what I could achieve.

You're loved,
You know?

You're loved.

As much as I'd like to believe

2009-12-11T02:11:00.001+08:00

that there was something there, really, there wasn't

It feels empty as it goes into my mouth, I struggled to start seeing if I could feel anything, I tried and tried another time, it didn't work.

So, what now?

11th December, 2009

2009-12-11T01:07:00.000+08:00

I'm sitting here, constantly allowing my emotions to revolve around me, makes me think of an angry bee bustling around its hive, working nonchalantly, its monotonous buzz ringing into my ears.

We live in a dystopia : Pain, misery, dissonance, cacophony, injustice. No space for the warm nights spent with loved ones, no time for one single flower in the gardens, let alone much of a step of free ground for us, it's like a bunch of kids playing with us like we're action-dolls or something.

We all create a huge tower in us really, that huge tower, very much like the tower of Babel, was created usually for the selfish purposes of man - to reach a goal, to achieve something amazing for themselves, and normally, we get struck down, just like the story of the tower itself. Not being a pessimist here, but its true - in the end, the harder we work to build things up for ourselves the easier it is to strike down.

Not always the case,

Instead, should the tower have finally be built, we see the dimming down of mankind - laziness, selfishness, the constant ability to just not give a shit, can't we see? We've built the tower, now what? We're stuck in it, prisoners, drugged in our own reality that we've fabricated for ourselves. It's okay to just follow the swing even if you don't think its the right thing, after all, that's what justice and law is - a recollection of past events and how the majority dealt with it, nothing absolute.

Then we despair.

I guess the irony is that we love to blame other people for our short comings, why is it that in this world filled with liberalism, humanism, absolutism, the constant disagreement within parties, leave each other hunting for imperfections in the opposite party.

I'm just rambling - really.

When I don't have a particular thing to ramble about, it just goes to show - some people can really fuck you up.

Schizophrenia : The Diary of a Sociopath

2009-12-07T15:49:00.000+08:00

-----------------------------

Notes : I generally find writing very enjoyable - be it songs, poems and even a number of short stories, this is one of them, enjoy! (:

-----------------------------

Schizophrenia : Noun [skĭt′səfrēnēə]

(pathology) A psychiatric diagnosis denoting a persistent, often chronic, mental illness variously affecting behavior, thinking, and emotion
(informal) Any condition in which disparate or mutually exclusive activities coexist

They said I was crazy, but they were bullshitting, I'm not crazy, they are.

June 7 - 19:08.

It didn't really occur to me how walls were able to cave in and you can just feel them at the tip of your hairs, melting into you, as if it were embracing you - eating you up. It felt warmly cold. Very spine chilling and heartwarming at the same time. That's how I woke up today - with the walls whispering to my ears "G'day, Harry, G'Day.", while I fought off the gooey substance which were the concrete barriers surrounding me, I looked at the bright light and I thought to myself "Boy, it can sure get dark in here," and turned them off, I could finally see clearly.

The walls decided to creep back to where they belong and the room became visible, I said good morning to my wife, I think she was sleeping, I also thought she needed to change her tampons - she was getting red and sticky all over, I breathed in a whiff of refreshing fresh air, the wife was so caring to cook, though her cooking sucked, I guess that was marriage - you tell your wife you love her no matter how bad she was at everything she did.

I sat up and stared down the dining bed - it was my wife's horrid expression staring back at me - oh, how I hated that expression, she kept screaming and whining "YOU NEED TO SEE SOMEONE HARRY, YOU'RE NOT OKAY!", I kept mocking her, day in and day out, eventually, she just lived with it - well, she's been very quiet since, but she's always worn that same face, everyday.

"Honey, did you sleep well?", the only thing I hated more than being nagged and whined at, was being ignored, I guess we have to be tolerable to our wives at the time, especially bad bad times such as this one, I just looked at my food and smiled back at my wife, "Thanks for the meal honey, I love you,", I was a tad bit too lazy to pick up a fork and a spoon - then again I don't remember buying any in the first place. I stared down my breakfast and looked at my wife.

"Aww, Honey, you shouldn't have!" She made me my favorite - Bacon and Eggs, I guess it just goes to show - give a little patience and your wife would love you all over again just like honeymoon. Maybe she was just playing with me when she kept that annoying face staring back at me - one that looked like pure horror and fear, but I know my wife - she loves me. Very much.

I picked up the fork and started chowing down the bacon - I spat it out and shouted at my wife. "What is this, bitch!? It tastes like feet!" and when I said it tasted like feet - I meant it. Literally, it stenches of rotting meat and dead things, maggots too. I shifted backwards and stared at my wife - still wearing that horrified expression looking back at me. I calmed down and looked at my wife compassionately.

"Its okay honey, I'm sorry, listen, we gotta talk. It's been like this for weeks, I- I still love you! Honey, please talk to me," I said to her, and she did not reply. "Honey?" she did not reply. "C'mon Honey, I love you... Please..." still, she did not reply. I had to calm down, I sat up, calm.

"Bitch, talk to me, NOW." I picked up the side table lamp and smashed in her head, I loved her so so much, "BITCH! YOU WILL FUCKING TALK TO ME YOU HEAR!?" I loved my wife enough to work things out, I loved our kids too, they loved to join us on the dining bed, they also liked to mess with me - jumping on my plate, oh, it was so cute, I loved my kids. "YOU CAN DIE WITH THE KIDS TOO YOU INSOLENT MAGGOT EATING SHIT WHORE!" I was going to work this marriage out, I swear, I'm a man who loves his wife, and is forever faithful.

"DIE BITCH DIE!"

"DIE BITCH DIE!"

"DIE BITCH DIE!!!"

I kept screaming how much I needed her, but it was the same - she never replied, and she always showed me the same face, I got frustrated. "oh honey, please talk back, I'm so sorry... I miss you," I had the right to be angry, "I'll eat now okay? I didn't mean it honey, I loved your cooking... Always,".

I slowly ate away and the day was getting late, I went back to bed. I was exhausted.

December 49, 90:123

It didn't really occur to me how walls were able to cave in and you can just feel them at the tip of your hairs, melting into you, as if it were embracing you - eating you up. It felt warmly cold. Very spine chilling and heartwarming at the same time. That's how I woke up today - with the walls whispering to my ears "G'day, Harry, G'Day.", while I fought off the gooey substance which were the concrete barriers surrounding me, I looked at the bright light and I thought to myself "Boy, it can sure get dark in here," and turned them off, I could finally see clearly.

The idiocy that is the male species. :D

2009-12-05T22:26:00.000+08:00

TRUTH.

2009-12-05T22:16:00.000+08:00

Showing off my skills, I just sat there, not expecting anything, twas an indifferent night that happens every week or so.

I stared blankly into space, looking hard and far into the deepest reaches of the universe.

He was hung like a horse, but I didn't believe it. He only claimed such... Sexual features.

Well then, he got high, and so did his mate, and then he just kept on staring into space. And then he looked at me...

I GOT FUCKING LUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:D

Goodnight Hollywood Boulevard.

2009-12-02T00:49:00.000+08:00

There's a certain beauty in rainy nights, no? :D

Dreams

2009-11-29T17:37:00.000+08:00

Like an ethereal plane,
I feel light as a feather,
The only thing weighing heavy is my heart,
Oh dear, we're into a rough start.

You don't stop coming back,
I keep dreaming of that smile,
So beautiful, yet it lacks,
It lacks a sense of reality - how I wish it was real.

I can't stop crying,
The sky's generous tears help me as it falls,
The rain that passes each time I end a dream,
Reminds me of the time we spent - when I knew it wasn't a dream,

So dig a grave, in a plane,
Put me in, and fill with tears,
Drown me in my sorrow, my final resting place,
No longer will I feel fears, and my heart would no longer sear.

No. I will not, I will not,
Run away I will not,
I will face this, hard-hearted and strong,
I'm not so easily shaken off.

This Sehnsucht feeling,
I long for something which isn't there,
Or, at least, what isn't there anymore,
I can only stare into the horizon, and burn it harder.

Who are you?

2009-11-25T01:20:00.000+08:00

It hurts more when you move it.

2009-11-18T02:53:00.000+08:00

It hurts more when you touch it.
It hurts more when you disturb it.
It hurts more when you try to fix it.

Leave it alone.

It'll work out by itself.

Bleed it out. Till there's nothing left to bleed.

Looks like you're not done yet.

Addicted to the trance. Addicted to the drag.

2009-11-18T02:30:00.000+08:00

Addictions.

It's safe to say that as of late my life's been different up to the point where I feel like a complete stranger even to myself. I'm not who I wanted to be half a year ago, I'm not who I saw myself to be in the past, I did not expect to be spending my Christmas alone, or, so it seems at the moment. I did not expect to see myself doing... Well, you get the point.

True Addiction.

You're always at a melodramatic state where the past is always better than the present, however, at most situations, especially during drastic changes, you'd much rather stay in the present, knowing that in the past, you'll have to go through the same things, however, when there's nothing to fear in the past, why do you resent going back?

Tell me why. It is my life.

Tell me why. It's a lie.

Tell me why. I lie.

Tell lie.

And THEY called you Crazy.

2009-11-17T01:46:00.000+08:00

To know that every 12 seconds someone dies of a certain disease, at first you'd think "oh, that's a horrible thing! We should pay more attention to humanity,", 12 seconds later, you sit down with legs planted on the table which serves as a leg rest - you've completely disregarded the fact that you just let someone die today.

But that's not why you're crazy.

You tell the world "You gotta save the electricity to save the world,", yet the people actually attempting to do such a movement hold a worldwide concert that obviously burns more electricity than you can in a week.

But that's not why they're crazy.

You try to be understanding of the people who act bitterly towards others, and tell them they're to be more understanding. Yet the moment you are a victim, you are ready to kill whoever victimized you.

But that's not why you're crazy.

You tell other people off, telling them about their wrongs and imperfections when you yourself are no different. You constantly ramble about the fact that you're not to sin because of some greater being when you yourself are just as human as everyone else.

That's why you're crazy.

I guess my point here is that we're all imperfect, telling everyone else to be what you're not you yourself is baseless argument.

[SICK]

2009-11-10T01:42:00.000+08:00

I'm sicksicksicksicksicksicksicksicksicksicksicksicksicksicksicksicksicksicksicksicksicksicksick.

Literally having your heart handed over to you, rent.

Mutilated.

And shat on in the middle of the cold, wet, tar road.

You know, I've only had this feeling once or twice in my time, and both times were from the same source, and now, its really no exception.

It's sickening. I hate this.

Nauseous, violent, rage-blind, aggressive, provoked.

Caught in the middle of a rhapsody.

2009-11-09T00:20:00.000+08:00

Yes, the title of the last post and this post is Queen themed, bite me.

I guess the lot of you (bots from other countries who just spam their ads here.) have been waiting for me to post (;____;), and I do not disappoint, my friends, for I know. WILL. POST.

(clicks 'publish post',)

Seriously now ;

How long has it been since I actually wrote something in this blog? Well, besides the one this morning, the other post was a day before I applied for work, so as soon as that started, I was thrown into a whirlwind of basic work - simple, tiring, but fun to do if you make the best of it (Heck, I dance and sing while ironing my clothes, aren't I badass?), and I'm probably the only guy in my workplace that speaks advanced english, so all the foreigners = my job. :D

I mean, funny things can happen in the workplace :

'So, theres a discount on this thing?'

'yes.'

'yes?'

'yes.'

'yes?'

'Yes.'

'yes?'

'YES.'

'...'

'...'

'Oh, right... yes?'

lahkldfhalsfshfas xD

Although there are times where I hate the songs being played in the store itself (e.g. Big Girls Dont Cry, Ghetto Girl, The Climb... LOL WUT.) and some partially not because I hate the song itself but rather the past I share with it, but the bright side to it is that it gets me used to being in an environment where I'm constantly reminded of horrible things, and eventually, at the 2nd or 3rd day of endless reruns, I got used to being in that situation, and it was a real learning experience.

And hey, some songs are nice, I mean, after awhile, Kevin Rudolf songs get to you. And I've always loved Lil' Wayne for all that is creditted, he's the only black guys who turned from R&B to Rock, or something along those lines so he quotes.

Aside from that, working keeps me away from the need to think too much to eat my time, sometimes its just a matter of choosing your favourite lie, and as for me, I just choose to avoid whatever question I'm sticking into my head right now, be it on any issue such as relationships to social lives to 'hey, what the fuck am I supposed to be doing now?' kind of questions. At some point,it feels better to just lay my mind off of things for a change...

Knowledge is a double edged blade,
It can cut both ways.

Sometimes, Ignorance is bliss.

Sometimes.

He deserves no sympathy.

2009-11-08T13:15:00.000+08:00

So yes, my blog is dead due to me being in the workplace, I can't be bothered to update at night, probably cause I'm already so damned tired.

A
N
Y
WHO.

Im guessing everything I could update within tonight, I'll try, lol, till then.

Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters to me

Any way the wind blows...

Is there anybody out there?

Filler : Blog Changes, why do I NOT do it.

2009-11-02T12:18:00.000+08:00

Lately, there has been alot of this going on :

"Uhm, yeah, I'm gonna change my blog You-Are-Ell cause it looks ugly,"

"Too many memories of the past, I'm going to change the blog for a new pace in life (Add here a very dramatic smiley face)"

"Meh, old blogs dead, I'm gonna make a new one! :D"

Okay, so SOMEONE was about to call it :

Hey Rico, what about you?

W
E
L
L
(dot)

I guess to summarize it all I'd have to say :

a) I love my blog url just the way it is.
b) I don't run away from my memories by trying to forget it or anything like that, and a new pace in life doesn't mean I need to change my blog url.
c) if your old blog is dead, update it. LOL
d) and finally, I'm just too damn lazy to do anything else LOL

<3

2009-10-26T22:59:00.000+08:00

A token of love from someone I hold very dearly to my heart. <3

Thanks Dil xD

[Superfreakingferalagociously late update(s)]

2009-10-25T00:54:00.000+08:00

Just to start things off, some home-made demotivational pictures. Lmfao.

I know, demotivational isn't actually proper English, coined more than anything. xD

OKAY!

LATE UPDATE NO. I : MY SISTER'S WEDDING CEREMONY.

So, yes, as most of you know, since I so proudly talk about it. My sister just recently had her wedding ceremony, (To clear things up however, she has already been legally wed to her husband aka my bro in law quite ahwile ago, in terms of registration, yes, such a thing is possible. lmfao, it's a norm, actually.)

PRE WEDDING :
So, it starts with a me, getting dressed and cleaned up for the pre-wedding ceremony, the tea ceremony where one welcomes the newly wed couples into each sides of the family (awwww. <3>

This is the green shirt that I told everyone about awhile back, Lmfao, it looks good. :D

(well, at least better than my usual black and white)

The groom eventually made it into the house where the tea ceremony was to be held, and theres everyone coming down from the stairs to start.

The lovely couple and their child taking their photo after the tea ceremony, which was quite a new experience, being of close relation, I was quite involved, so pictures were of a lack to me, however, the experience itself was hilarious, I remember feeling a tad bit awkward when I was doing the tea thing, it was even funnier with my brother around, since he just barged into whatever he did, he had no idea what was going on LOL.

So while everyone was ceremony-ing away, when it wasn't our turn, we did alot of things to pass the time, for example, my brother - having the lack of intelligence, was strangely fascinated by the falling of grains of sand.

Caption of the Millenia : OH MY GOD SAND FALLS. DDAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! (stupid smile)

Spot the idiot. xD

My sisters and her loving bridesmaids, they're all really sweet. :D

After the ceremony, everyone's getting out for the rest of the afternoon to prepare for the EVENING. :D

BUT BEFORE THAT, who could resist, really? GROUP PHOTO! x)

I'm not in cause I was taking the photo? hahaha, these are the bridesmaids and the grooms..butlers? Lmao, they're all fun people, really. xD

Baby Ryan stuck himself on a wall and I decided to take a picture of him horizontally altered.

WEDDING :

So we were all at Tropicana's Grand Hall, it was an amazing place! My sister spared no expenses when it came to her one and only special day! No compromise! That was what really made this ceremony a big success!

I mean, look at the layout!

HUGEEEEEE! xD

The best moment of her life : walking down the walkway with everyone else standing up and applauding, she was on the top of the world for one minute. :P

Walking around with the bro-in-law and the flower girl (note the cute lil girl in the middle of the two, thats the flower girl, her name's Tiffany, shes my cousin. lmfao xD)

Hey, whats a dinner without the food!?

(No, screw it, I picked up the chopsticks instantly and dug in, IT WAS TOO GOOOD! D:)

But, there was a lil wine, just to add to the classiness, and my sis knew that dry wine would kill a party, so she DIDN'T get dry wine. xD

Sis, I love you SOOO much, more than any other girlfriend and/or guitar I've ever had (wait for my wife lah, xD). You were there for me when no one else would be, we went through alot together, so lets go through more together. :)

ILY SIS! <3

----------------------

LATE UPDATE NO. II : Rambles. Pffftt. xD

I hate letters that are arranged in such a way where you are reminded of a certain someone.

Lmao, ah whatever, FML.

ANYWAY.
I don'tactually have a second late update, rawr, so bite me. xD

Ph34r t3h cut3!

2009-10-12T00:45:00.000+08:00

Cuteness, there is no boundaries to such a thing. I mean, seriously.

I was taking care of my baby bro earlier this evening, and oh, joy, I brought him into my room, cause he's never been in there before, oh, and he likes the cold air-cond. LOL, I spoilt him, so, while I was in there, he had his eyes locked onto something...

...I checked, it was that toy tiger beanie Ming handed over to me when he got back from HK, the moment I brought it to him, he lit up like a lightbulb! The cute lil guy started laughing, and so.... Having absolutely no content in my blog, I might as well.... Show you what I was doing with the guy while I was babysitting him. x)

The Fat boy's 11th birthday.

2009-10-05T14:38:00.001+08:00

So, the day before I was having a birthday gathering for my brothers 11th birthday, at a cafe/restaurant by day and pub by midnight place known as Decanter, there wasn't much to say about the journey there, but I absolutely loved the food! :D

The classy salt/pepper/sugar arrangement, very nice :D

Self explanatory, hahaha.

The beloved nephew, who is very very evil by the way, Ryan.

The menu was an oriental/western mix, there was a vast variety of eastern and western dishes as well as local delight such as Assam Laksa, Lamb curry and the like. Truly was the works! We ordered a bit too much, however, it was a challenge just to finish everything, the casualty count - One plate of spaghetti could not be finished.

Margarita pizza, for those who don't know what it is - its a plain tomato pizza topped with cheese and basil leaves for taste, sometimes with anchovies, it. Is. AWESOME. :D

Escargot, not as good as Victoria Station's version, BUT I LOVE THIS ONE TOO! :D

THE EPIC TOOL TO DESTROY THE SNAIL HORDE! >:D

I actually wanted to take pics of all the foods, but the problem was that my phone ran outta batteries, pity, D:

So well, there was a toilet, and an opportunity, therefore, I camwhore. :D

And I guess that was it, it was a great dinner, a great time to catch up with godparents, aunts, and etc.

Happy birthday fat boy, I hate you. Thats why we're bros. LOL

When I said...

2009-10-03T01:56:00.000+08:00

I take photos of anything I could find, I meant it, but these pics turned out amazing, and two of them were good enough to even be set as a wallpaper, I gave myself a pat on the back for these pictures, there was a nice feel to it :

Borderlines and evening nights.

2009-10-01T14:44:00.000+08:00

Somehow night to night, I have feelings lingering on,
I tell myself I can go forward with my eyes turned back,

Life is such a subjective subject.
The irony is that we all have a tendency to think we understand it.
And we never share our views, if we did, we'll never stop arguing.
The backlash of being deep was that when we do become deep, life's simplest pleasures becomes abysmal.

Sometimes the best part about life is its simplicity.

-----------------------------------------------------

So, exams, bam, pow, wham, it wouldn't be right to say I'm the only one that's calm about it, not that I don't care, but rather, I don't care enough, anywho, I'm shocked to find that I'm actually teaching when I should be studying subjects, not that it mattered, I mean, haha, I am learning something, after all, and it is always fun, I just thought that I'd be the one to constantly ask questions, in the end, I'm the one answering them x).

-----------------------------------------------------

Take away my mid-year emotional breakdowns,
and you have before you, a pretty zenned up motherfucker,
Well, it's great to exist, it's great to exist.
We talk about death so much we forget about life, thats funny.

Cause we got sunshine with casted shadows, and we're stupid enough to only look at the shadow.
Hey, when you look at a picture, look at the whole thing, not just the subject.
Got you there didn't I? x)
-----------------------------------------------------

Did I tell you guys how much I simply LOVE John Mayer? It was just one of those convenient happenings in life, he just seemed like one of those best friend guys who came along and sang me a few songs when I was at my worse, well, minus the come along and sang me a song part, but you get my idea, he pretty much made me smile with every song he sang, it gave me a new kinda calm, and I'm damned glad I stopped doing what I had to do before to keep me from breaking down.

Oh, and I even met the guy, don't believe me? EAT YOUR HEART OUT :

I don't remember having the boobs, but Zac was a pretty perverted guy, he felt me up during the photo op. Oh well, he's a nice guy, and he likes kittens.

--------------------------------------------------

Gnight everyone (:

Friend(s)

2009-09-28T17:48:00.001+08:00

The fake friends would backstab you, end of story.

The /real/ friends would backstab you... Just so they can gain the trust of the people who don't like you so they backstab them twice as bad, and comes back to you saying 'mission accomplished'

... xD

Clubs

2009-09-27T16:06:00.000+08:00

It took me long enough to see this, and now I know its too late but ;

It kinda bothers me that I'm not involved in any school co-curricular activities apart from CF (in which, I also am inactive) and Interact (horribly inactive as well)...

o_o... And thats really about it. lol

"I don't care about this Bourgeois bullshit"

2009-09-26T13:52:00.000+08:00

"I like this growing up part - its retarded, its stupid,"

"There's just some stuff I like, and some stuff are shallow, and I don't fucking care, I'm not in a punk rock band,"

"I guess I'm okay, I fucking love this place, I don't how long it's been since I just got to live, just be an exist, in this goddamn, dreamy, fucking place, that's all I have to say,"

So the previous night Jeffrey sent me a video with Ryan Adam's thoughts (or rather, rambles) on life and social classes and such, and I tell you, my respect for the man just blew up a 100 times bigger, vulgarities aside, the dude knew what he was talking about, and he did both of speaking my mind and comforting me at the same time, talk about inspiring, sometimes it just takes an artistic mind to express the simplest of concerns, individuality and the such.

You can learn a lot from a man who just came outta prison, no doubt.

-----------------------

I just enjoy walking around taking random pictures everywhere I go with my phone camera, and I guess thats where my inspiration derives from, that's where I get my ideas and thats how I find the muses in my life.

-----------------------

Social classes, from the Aristocrat to the proletariat,
Twas a balance like the Libra on its scales, Weighing,
Deciding in which we were sorted different habitats,
The times advanced but merely the people in the classes, changing,

Justice, Law and Order,
Corruption, Sunder and Toil,
Two sides of the same coin, what a bother,
Rather, we all stand and die at the same soil,

What is there to say? But the feelings awry,
Life in it's ephemeral form, deserves peace,
Excitement, passion and also glee,
The balance in life was made for us to see,

The weak will fall, but they work to grow,
The strong shall prevail, but they work to stay,
Whats to say that the weak shan't overthrow?
The strong may fall like undeserving prey,

I say and I say time and time,
Merely, I am bourgeois, a middle-classed fool,
Not Gentry, nor a Parvenu, I am not, I am I,
My opinion varies to many, equals to nothing,
I am just a fool, a middle-class goon, a tool,
But a tool with words worthy spoke, I can amount to something,

I am a human, social class non-standing.

Time

2009-09-24T17:33:00.000+08:00

Time, another anomaly,
Bends and twists, it catches us in the ripple,
I wish, if I could change time,
I would go back and destroy that moment where your eyes met mine,

After all, its all in my head,
Feel the heat as I'm pummeled by past,
The ever changing forms left me dead,
I've been tossed around sometime too fast,
This was time, always a crueler past,

We look before or we look yonder,
Either way, time grips us on,
There's no 'time' to ponder,
There's a bigger meaning to something such as hours,
We're just constrained by its powers.

2 Parties, 2 Days

2009-09-20T21:38:00.000+08:00

Like, seriously, I haven't been home for two days cause I've been fucking partying in them both, and I never ever felt so eventful, LOL, this is gonna be ONE LONG POST so keep your pants on, grab a coffee and pray you don't die in the middle. xD

Day I : Achap's EPIC birthday.

Before that I was at cyber cafe with Jeffrey, we were blur when we left, and so I went home, got a quick change before going out to catch a cab IN THE RAIN! Good thing I had my trusty cardboard box to keep me from getting wet : RICO <3 BOXES. :D, So anyway,as I reached Curve (after being victim of HIGHWAY ROBBERY, I MEAN, WTF, 12 bucks for a taxi ride from my place to CURVE, that's originally like, 6 bucks... wtf wtf wtf.), I walked up to Ikano first, looking around, after a few calls I got to the place Achap and the rest were gathering. I thought it was Bubblegum, but they were meeting in a place called :

BUBBA GUMP. It's an awesome place to eat, no doubt! And here I nao has pics :D

FIRST BLOOD. I took this candid pic of the bday boy and then it started going all photo-ish from there on in. xD

Cookies and Brownies, I only took the brownies, someone commented it looked like goats shit, LOL, but I loved it anyway. xD

Chris attempting to steal something but ends up looking emo, and Syahir and Achap comes in to ruin the picture (Achaps hand over there. LOL)

Cheers! :D Im actually hesitating here cause my other hand is taking this photo xD

The most epic part of Bubba Gump - TOILET PAPER. >:D

Shi Chuen took this photo, thats why you can see me behind Achap. LOL.

The group going all Godfather on this pic. (sorry blurry lol)

OBEY THE SIGN (a really epic way of calling for a waiter. xD, just flip the sign over and it'll say STOP FORREST STOP, which'll call a waiter over)

The beautiful (and only) couple in the party! Asyrul and Atira (can we decorate this with some hearts and guitar-shaped cupid arrows or something?) <33

Something we did while waiting for the food lol

And after that, all the food decided to come, hey, what blog post talking about food isn't without its pictures, yes?

"I'm Stuffed!" shrimp, thats my order, and ITS FUCKING AWESOME. >:D

Fish and Chips, with a side of salad, Chris, is one hungry (and crazy) mofo. xD

All Around America Sampler - Shrimp Cocktail, Nachos, Hot Wings, Salsa, Shrimp Balls and Batter Fried Shrimp all in one convinient package order, :D, this was being shared by Chris, Asyrul, Atira and I. :D

This is teh bbq CHEEZEBERGER. ZOMGOMZOMGOZMOMZOGMZOMGZ awesome stuff. >:D, ordered by Achap and Shi Chuen.

There were other stuff but I got too fucking hungry to take pics of them D:

SIR SHRIMPY FACE. >:D, the only reason Achap had a constipated face was cause something started going into his eyes, blame the shrimp. I guess. xD

That was when we were done, God, were we full. xD

Charanpal, Vigna, Vinesh, Kamarul and the rest came late, so I whipped out my cam! >:D

Charan, Asyrul and Atira chatting it up.

Vinesh, Vigna and.. Uh. I never caught his name... Oops :x

Tropical Breeze, some alchoholic drink that was being ordered by Vinesh, Vigna and Charanpal, I tried a sip or two, no alchohol taste, but like, lol, I got high after that.

Group photo! Lol, sorry for the blurness. @@ (Clockwise from middle bottom : Achap, oops I forgot his name sorry ><, Charan, Syahir, Vigna, Husaini, Christopher, Shi Chuen)

Charanpal! And his arms that span two times the size of man. LOL

Then, BAM! The Bubba Gump people came up to sing happy bday to Achap! After that, /we/ demanded speech, MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And I has video! Of teh speech xD

After that, we all went to buy presents for Achap, and then Snooker! LOL, I kept getting owned (No pics lol sozz), and then I went home, TO ACHAPS PLACE with Huss, Achap, Vinesh, Vigna and Christopher, and camwhoring ensued. :D

There was also a hell lot of racist jokes and lots of crazy random noises, and an awesome jam session :D. The next day we all got up at different times and went home, I on the other hand.. Stepped on :

DAY II : JW'S EPIC PARTY.

Walked from Achaps house to the Taman Paramount LRT station and took an LRT to Tmn Bahagia, and from there I walked to JWs house, then went to Tropicana Mall to buy stuff at Carefour for the party's preperation, went back, went out again to buy the BEER (and lol, that was another story altogether), and walked back.

Preperation before the party, pretty self explainatory, and being so selfish, we all shared some beers xD.

Was the journey worth it? FUCK YEAH :

I didn't have much recollection nor pictures of the night, why? CAUSE I WAS FUCKING PLASTERED....

YES I WAS TOO DAMN DRUNK. >_>

So I fell asleep at JWs room, woke up later at night, talked to JW, went online for a shortwhile, facing my hangover and went to bed, LOL.

Never been so wasted in all my life, and you know what? I LOVE IT. xD

---x---

The night was still young,
Welcome to the party baby,
This is our time,
Our time to shine,

Once in a life time,
See us in our prime,
Going crazy,
Thats who we are Baby,

The Euphoria,
filling up our veins,
Each moment is for real,
Every night is the real deal,
Cause we're meant to be insane,
In the night where things aren't the same,

Nostalgia. // Kanye West you dickhead.

2009-09-17T21:08:00.000+08:00

I guess several people already know, I got a NEW PHONE :D.

I brought the phone to school and I guess for the first few periods, started showing it off to some people xD.

Rico : I got something to show you Steph,

Thong thong : Hah? What?

-Rico flashes his awesome-

Thong thong : OMG RICO I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!

LOL, that was the gist of it, the Thursday went pretty typically, Basic Economics, Geography (Free period), Recess, English, Maths (free-er period), Sejarah, and B.M. (I slept one period, wewt, (: )

I guess showing your phone to people like Vivi and Steph gets them wanting to camwhore, almost definitely, xD.

Vivi and I, note the ghey pose >:D

Stephy Thong thong - my boob xD

Vi and I, :D

What was pretty unexpected was after school, I met up with Bryan and Janie, and epic ensued.

Janie : I missed my bus!

Bryan : Again?!?

Rico : o_o...

And for some reason, we just walked all the way to ss2, not before stopping by my house for a short while and then going to SBL, I got me a pen, EPIC SCENE : We saw a cat on a car, it was pretty sad, but a cute picture op, and soooo~

Epic. :D

We went to mamak, and God, THESE GUYS HAVE NOT SEEN ME IN FOREVER, and vice versa! We've been doing a hell lot of catching up, non stop, just talking about our lives, and how great it was since primary, and how we've come to not meet after so long, it was such a nostalgic recollection of many primary memories, man, it then came to my realisation I've not hung out with these people as much anymore, nor have I done enough of it in the first place!

Aaaaand after mamak, we went to MCD to STUDY, and I owe them a hell lot for them teaching me FACTORISATON (YES, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO FACTORISATION. People ask me how I went through PMR alive >_>). And then we went our seperate ways and such, I went to cyber for a minute, mind you, I didn't even turn on a comp, just went to have a look at what everyone was doing, went home, napped, went on, and started writting on the blog. :D

Pics or it didn't happen, but, ah-ha! Here are the pics :

My two maths teachers : Bryan and Janie :D

The pen I bought! Lol, and the maths work @@

Maths + Smiling? DOES NOT COMPUTE!!!

This is how messy i write, and thats the amount of mistakes I make xD

My phailsauce maths attempts :P

Camwhoring after we're done and about to leave

Janie~~~ :D

Bryan and his newfound love of McDonald Arcs. xD
--------------

Hello, my shadow for the weekend,
The nostalgia of looking at the old trees,
Swaying slowly but surely, nostalgic of age,
And it kept me happy knowing I can still see,
Planting a seed, words of wisdom by a sage,
'Slowly, but surely, it will grow to be a great tree',

No greater feeling,
Then friends fade coming back again,
I've missed seeing,
You and I and the other guy,
And that brick wall we so loved mentioning,
Laughing after every joke and holding each other after each confide,

Friends, I've always had them,
just that I failed to appreciate them,
Nay, I will no longer,
For I have changed, I've grown matured.

------------------------------

Well alright, on a side note, just recently I watched the video that involved a certain Kanye West snatching the mic off of Taylor Swift and, EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO YOU DICKHEAD?

"Ey yo, Taylor Im proud of you and all but BEYONCE HAD THE BEST VIDEO OF ALL TIME MAN! ALL TIME!"

... Okay, so wait, Taylor is new at this, and she really deserves what she got, and you go up to her at the peak of her happiness and piledrive her happiness by comparing?

I mean, honestly, why the /fuck/ do you think people wanna hear your opinion in the first place?

Kanye, I used to respect you man, like your music and all was good, but I can't listen to your music without thinking you suck so bad in real life, I'm sorry, I dont listen to jocks.

You give blacks a bad name, man, a bad name.

Appease my spirit

2009-09-16T13:55:00.000+08:00

Sometimes getting a day off from school involves depleting the batteries of your parent's handphones. xD

So like, HEY guys, I guess for those who stalk my blog daily (... Uh?), this is one of those 'NORMAL' posts.

HIGHLIGHTING NORMAL.

...Doesn't seem to be working...

NO ONES CONVINCED!?!?!?!

Fail.

A
N
Y
WAY.

I guess the reason I didn't go to school today was easy - my mum, bro and I accidentally depleted the batteries off my dads phone WHICH has the loudest fucking alarm system EVAR (note the epic spelling) which wakes everyone up in the morning, and thus, we all slept like pigs (well, cept for my mom, who was too busy taking care of my baby bro in the middle of the night, and she passed out at 4 a.m., thus highlighting a tip for all future mothers : LEARN HOW TO BE NOCTURNAL.), I /did/ actually wake up at 6, I just felt like it was a dream, and shrugged it off, the moment I did wake up, I was expecting blue-black twilight shining down my window, but I got a shiny burst of yellow-Peach dawn..

Gah, it burns, burnsssss, BURNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSS.

I skipped the only school day that I actually wanted to attend though, PJK...

Man, I wanted to play DODGEBALL so bad!

I guess we all don't really choose our accidents unless we make em happen. (:

Condemnation [Forum]

2009-09-13T23:53:00.000+08:00

Insults and spiteful words from Immature people who think they have the maturity and intellect of an elder. What is your opinion on that? Write on cbox pls (:

((I was just thinking that letting people interact with the blog would do me some justice rather than just read and run, haha))

Twilight.

2009-09-12T15:30:00.000+08:00

There's only one way to sum up the way I think about this piece of 'literary art' :

DOES IT PLEASE YOU!?!?!?!?!?! D:<<<<<<<<

The mentality of the child inside of me. // Truman Capote.

2009-09-11T21:53:00.000+08:00

We all have, in one point of our time, a stunning revelation of self-understanding, and that is the child inside of us, the alter ego, the alternate version of us with a 10 year delay, if I may say.

That inner child is a selfish one, foolish one, one who thinks of his/herself over the rest, and of course, layering the top is something more commonly associated as our conscience, the 'little man' saying what to and what not to do, our very own Jiminy Cricket. And layered once again is reason - the things we have to take into consideration before doing something.

Quite a mouthful, but to layer something like that, simple as apple pie.

There's a child inside of that guy, who covers himself in the world of the adults, he doesn't want to see himself as a kid, and honestly, its quite funny, when someone acts as if they're mature, but in all honesty, is not.

Yes, yes, I know, I'm guilty of the same charges.

But that's the very comedic gold in this, we all laugh at our own faults, its funnier if we see it in other people, I'm not calling no kettle black, I'm laughing with everything else.

On a side note, my baby bro, Julien, smiles, smirks and giggles every time I sing 'First Day of My Life' to him, he is just ADORABLE. I swear to God! <3

-----------------

The nights I spend usually consists of late night movies with my dad and the other night, a very interesting film came into light - Capote.

Truman Capote ( September 30, 1924 – August 25, 1984 ), is an American writer, known very well for famous titles such as Breakfast at Tiffany's and In Cold Blood (Labeled the non-fiction novel by Truman himself). He is an open homosexual celebrity writter, who is given much acclaim for his works, especially In Cold Blood, which tells the story of two men who murdered a family in Holcomb, Kansas, the movie views post-Breakfast at Tiffany's, and portrays the lifetime while he was writting In Cold Blood, along with his personal experiences with the murderers and the lives and personal experiences - himself and his longtime friend, Harper Lee, the Author of To Kill a Mockingbird, whom followed Capone to Holcomb for research.

The emotional strain and humour-dark nature of Capone is beautifully portrayed by the actor - Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

Needless to say, I was given a new perspective into the worlds literary universe, as well as an inspiration of many levels -I may not have read any of Truman's books yet, but I am sure to give it a peek or two if I hit a bookstore and remember. :D

There was a nobody.

2009-09-10T23:41:00.000+08:00

He wanted to be somebody,
Left the world with another half,
He quipped with expertise,
To hide the knife behind his back,

The lover he once knew,
Rose at hand,
The lover he once loved,
Left him on a sea of sand,

Bleeding by the ankles,
He limped slowly,
Bound by the lying shackles,
That imprisoned him oh, so dearly,

Now he stabs, stabs, and stabs again,
There was a nobody,
And he strikes again,
On the news, the daily gazette,
I stab and stab, again and again,

Love, Semper Fidelis,
Nay, it is merely fabrication,
For love and faith is only subjective,
Words unaccounted, felt like divination,

There was a nobody,
He is she,
She is He,
For they are one and the same,
The nobody is - Humanity.

She keeps her toothbrush in my place.

2009-09-09T00:51:00.000+08:00

As if I had the extra space. (:

Have some self respect.

2009-09-05T00:05:00.000+08:00

Baby girl you ain't no ho,
You're a girl with a heart of gold,
Stop giving yourself to this fool,
He just packs rubber before he meets you,

No ring,
No flower,
Just a fling,
Just another,

Baby have some self respect,
There's a God up there looking at your distress,
You know this thing, you can't disinfect,
This ain't no intoxication its direct,
This isn't love - its sex.

You weren't that innocent lover I once knew,
You're now a loose gun, waiting to shoot,
Shoot another heart down, wait for the ricochet,
Your own heart woulda got shot if you ain't got the head.

This is your final warning,
Before they call you 'whore',
You're not some tavern wench,
You're not some object for men,
You're you, that's for sure,
Have some self respect - you're no cur.

Ethereal.

2009-08-31T21:26:00.000+08:00

Ethereal.

Adjective

1. extremely delicate or refined

2. heavenly or spiritual [Greek aithēr ether]

I'm really starting to love this word, it's just that. Hmm, how you say, expressive. Haha.

New look. // New Tokyo Terror.

2009-08-29T20:20:00.000+08:00

It's been ages! I've changed the look of my blog once again, haha, and I'm enjoying it to the core (:

Each season of the heart passes, perhaps now its Fall? No longer a cold winter.
Passionate crimson, on the branches, falling, as each leaf colors beautifully,
This is my new season.
I am -離.Ri-
This is the time, I change again, my smile, and my heart.
Warm as each color radiates, A life into my breath, and a smile unto my lips.

---------------------

On a side note, just today, I was out shopping with my sister (she wanted to get me my shirt for the wedding), and she is just tired of watching me wear the same old black and white, I, apparently, should be less traditional, so, alright, I picked out a shirt, and it looks surprisingly good on me! Something, well, NOT on the black-white context.

Its stripped green, :D

The point of this post I guess is mentioned right after I left the shopping mall and went home, we started talking about music and my sister so passionately recommended me this artist :

Her name is Joanna Wang, she has one of the best voices I've ever heard in awhile, and you know, me, always listening to guys instead of girls, shes a welcome change to my tastes, and her songs are sweet and relaxing, definitely all that jazz if you ask me. :)

I was lent the album 'The Adult Storybook - New Tokyo Terror', which is the second installation of her second released album "Joanna & 王若琳", (YES SHE SPEAKS CHINESE.)
I personally am a fan of her jazz feel and the coolness of her musical prowess, very loose, nothing too grand, nothing too MTV, if you get what I mean, she seems laid back about her music, and that's in my opinion how jazz music should feel like, there's a certain amount of playfulness in her songs which also blatantly reminded me of a local singer ; Zee Avi.

Bottom line - she's a great listen, and definitely on the list for those who loves Jazz music or is in the mood for such music.

The past is the place to be.

2009-08-23T02:47:00.000+08:00

The past is the place to be!
Oh how everything was just grandeur and lovely,
The photographs on the wall were a delight for me,
No longer, the photos have been burnt though a raging fire,
A torrent of emotion that has driven me sickly.

Another day walks by,
And I sit down with fire at my hands,
Breathing this temporal suffocation away,
Another fixation on a high,
With my tears dropping on sand,
Scars in my arms and I allow myself to sway,

No longer I say! No longer!
Go! Go away and travel yonder!
Your sickly notions of love and bombastic sentences,
Left me to dust, death and pain,
Oh how my tears joined the rain,

I sit down, one fine night, and reminisce,
I had the bravery to look at the conversations we had once,
The Genesis, smiles upon syllable to similes,
And as I further - I hiss,
The Gospels, the four, the long runs,
And the Revelation - the crushing end to us,

Why did we fight?
The beginning was but delight,
Such a foolish choice of words and a pitiful sight,
I've broken, but not died,
I've severed most my ties.

Because of you, I'm an incarnate,
Of what my name meant,
I stand before you - a heartache,
I'm Severance, and it truly was sent,
A name by Michael, A god fraction lent,

I am Ri,
I am Separation,
I am Severance,
Will not Flee,
Not Sedation,
Not Temperance,